5 Things to Leave Behind in 2019
We’ve all heard the saying..“You can’t start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading the last one.” So true right? But..totally easier said than done. How do you move forward into a new decade, with new energy and welcome new opportunity, if you’re still stuck in the past? It’s simple - you don’t. Before looking ahead to new year’s goals, resolutions, promises and commitments we must first leave behind that which is not serving us. Here are 5 things to ditch before heading into 2020!
1. GUILT - Oh the guilt..it’s a real thing, isn’t it? Guilt keeps us stuck in the role of victimhood and forbids us to move in any direction, least of all forward. The “should haves” and “would haves” and all that comes with it. What if we just accepted ourselves, our decision, our actions for what they were in the moment, recognizing that we do the best with the tools we have in our tool belt at the time, we could move forward without holding ourselves hostage with all of our regrets? How would that feel? Ditch the guilt and you’ll feel a hell of a lot lighter heading into the new year, I promise.
2. SELF-SABOTAGE - To me, self-sabotage is when we know better but we don’t do better. It’s basically the war between our conscious mind and our subconscious mind. We don’t consciously set ourselves up for failure but if our patterns have always led us back to failure because of doubt of self-worth, and lack of self-love..all roads will always lead back to sabotage. So how am I leaving this in the past? Recognizing that to change subconscious patterns, I need to continue to do the deeper work on myself; the self-reflection, the self-actualization, and honest assessment of our own self-talk and subconscious programming. That’s when true shifts begin to happen for us.
3. TRYING TO BE EVERYTHING, FOR EVERYONE - This one isn’t easy, because at the core of who we are, loving others means caring for them unconditionally, or that’s at least what we’ve been taught. Our belief systems and expectations of what all lies beneath the word “unconditional” often means that caring for others comes at expense of our own emotional, mental and sometimes even physical health. But it doesn’t have to be that way. We are our own worst enemies on this one. It’s our own B.S. checklist that keeps us overwhelmed, burned out, and exhausted as we continually pour into others while at the same time depleting ourselves. Nothing changes, if nothing changes and the first step to putting yourself on your priority list is setting healthy boundaries and knowing when to say “yes” and when to say “no”.
4. RESENTMENT - Let your life lessons make you better, not bitter. When we’ve been hurt by someone we really have two choices, one that leads us in a forward direction and the other that keeps us stuck. We can choose to fester in the negative energy of the wrongness and cling on to waiting for the apology, trying to get them to “see” our side of things, or we can release ourselves from the prison of resentment and experience a freeness like no other. Nothing says “I am worthy” more than not allowing someone else’s behaviours, actions, or thoughts dictate our own experience of joy. Make a choice to keep your power, instead of giving it away.
5. SELF-DOUBT - Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will. Our self-doubt doesn’t define who we are or what we can and cannot accomplish, but ACTING on that self-doubt will. We all experience the “am I good enough” thoughts but if we are able to hear the voice and still take the leap despite the fear, we can experience the trueness of validation of self. The truth is we all have negative self-talk, it’s whether or not we choose to BELIEVE IT that makes all the difference.
As you move into this new decade, take some time to journal and reflect on these 5 things and how they’ve showed up for you the past year. Feel the freeness of lightening your emotional load and embrace the abundance that comes your way in 2020!